#07

smile, and nothing
with reply unexpected
blank, faint
i know now
clearly, what to see
and to feel
and to believe
i realize what i don’t want
never want, ever.
believing with what is
in reality untrue, unfeeling
cause me sadness
empty, unsure
so i must leave
even if for the space
non-existential

i feel nothing…

#06

see teardrops
and they fall
light – shining, it gleams
sounding horror
stop. please stop.
and you slay
in all… raze still
do shut. leave my misery
… rain

#05

and it seemed like eternity
that should hold me forever

i choose not
to be prisoner
to be held captive
of the dreams that often lie
though it’s only now that I realized
confinements of reality that are not

i cry
i falter
but yet again I shall rise

this life, this living vision
has betrayed me
to my heart, to passion
but I can see clearly now
what seemed to be so
vaguely, indistinctably depicted

it is to myself
that I misled belief
traitor.
but to me still?
and life has been so.. so..
pitiless, spiteful
to hope I was given up
or is it despair?
hopelessness?

and so from here I end
of what seemed to be
existence unlivable

i shall begin to live.
i shall begin to breathe.
i shall begin to feel.
and mercilessness not to my own being
yet to myself in the past.

dreams gone
and failures non-existent
realities arise.

i am.