#02

within thy confinement
i struggle
that of a look
in dreams i only see
unfabled, yet i cannot touch.
unreachable.

i strive
and i seek
what seems to be
what i cannot have
reality. acquiescence
in silence found
cannot endure.
not just now.
maybe never.

and now i start
to ask.
why can’t you see
can’t feel.
can’t comprehend.
insensate.
when i try even
of the least that i have
incomprehensible.
unfathomable.

and i try to reach
i cannot.
when i hold,
seems unfeeling.
glance upon.
unbelieving.
or denial?
or just maybe nothing.

and i love – if it is.
unreturned, maybe not noticed
maybe deliberately.
maybe not meant to be.

and i look upon thyself
a shadow.
a specter.
a spirit long gone.
long helpless.
and must believe
that something i cannot have
must i not have.
long before the heartaches.

selfless.. must I still?
no more..

#01

i can’t breathe
air not in my midst
i ponder, i wonder
i see your countenance
unimaginable
the way you astound me
the mere thought
of you, your smile
levity – almost endless
discernment, of wit
propitious, heart
undeniably benevolent
everything, all.. almost.

no
don’t look
i fall even more
i cannot – i should not
for whatever reason
i cannot surmise
or might i know?
maybe. but still unknown
to my heart
my emotions. my sentiments.
inrecognizable
i cannot.

you are not the ideal
but you’re here
eventhough distance
seems to break me apart
apart from you – unknowingly
my love for you
..or is it??
indefinitely defined
drawn through the heavens
written in the seas
humorless. but i cannot touch
cannot feel.
even i cannot see.

why.
why must i suffer
consequences of what seems
to be not my sin
a mistake maybe
but is it of my wrongdoing?
when my only choice
is to feel and nothing more.

uncertainty
and of unsure circumstances
i realize what i should not.

and i falter..